Lame Joke Thread

Thursty

Well-Known Member
Location
Green River
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Darryl and Gary.

The three men had always done everything together!!!!!

Darryl arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet Darryl said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.”

The mortician rolled him over, and Darryl said, “Nope, ain’t Bubba.”

The mortician thought this was rather strange. Then he brought Gary in to identify the body.

Gary looked at the body and said, “Yup he’s pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over and Gary said, “No, it ain’t Bubba.”

The mortician asked, “How can you tell?”

Gary said, “Well, Bubba had two assholes.”

“What? He had two assholes?” asked the mortician.

Yup, I’ve never seen ‘em, but everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, “Here comes Bubba with them two assholes!”
 

4x4_Welder

Well-Known Member
Location
Twin Falls, ID
World famous archeologist Fred Flintstein was leading an expedition in the Swedish fjords. While there, he reported that he had found a fossilized stool sample.
During a later interview, he was pressed to tell what he felt this was from, and he responded "A dab of Abba Doo".



I have to credit that one to Colin Mochrie, he's the king of lame one liners.
 

sixstringsteve

Well-Known Member
Location
UT
A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

When making whipped cream churn it a little longer, it's butter that way.
 

sixstringsteve

Well-Known Member
Location
UT
A chicken farmer's favorite car is a coupe.

I've been to the dentist many times so I know the drill.

When a woman returns new clothing, that's post-traumatic dress syndrome.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant!

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Juvenile Court Tried Shooting Defendant

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

Big Rig Carrying Fruit Crashes on 210 Freeway - Creates Jam
 

bryson

RME Resident Ninja
Supporting Member
Location
West Jordan
If I had a DeLorean, I would only drive it from time to time.

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