Mental health: it’s ok to talk.

Cody said:

I would get up at 6 am to go to work, work until 7pm, come home so my wife could leave to go to her work. Fix the dinner for the kids, get them in bed etc. Sleep a couple hours until the wife would get home around midnight, then I'd get up and go down to her work so I could fix all the 3d printers that were down. Then back home by 2-3 am, to sleep a couple more hours. Rinse, repeat, 7 days a week for months.

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Kevin B. said:

I envy you your dedication. I would burn out within a month trying to maintain this schedule.

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Cody said:

I read some of these things, and I can totally relate (other than the sentiment of surviving the week just to get to the weekend...I don't even remember what it was like to have consistent weekends). I think I'm just numb at this point. Any scraps of free time are spent trying to get through the massive list of neglected house and business responsibilities. Any fleeting moments I take for myself (which are rare) are usually filled with guilt as I just run through the list of things that I should be doing or the additional work I'm putting on someone else by myself not being there. If I had two days to just do what I want, I don't even know that I would know what to do with myself. Which is probably when I feel saddest knowing I didn't used to be this way. I have been getting the occasional weekend trip here or there, and I was able to take a proper vacation last year, so it could be (and has been) worse. I'm just fully whelmed, and totally burned out, but I feel like I'm mostly keeping a good outlook on things which is at least something. I keep reminding myself that the only thing in this world I have control over is my attitude, so I try to make it a good one as much as possible.

Bad times pass, and things will always get better. 20 months ago I would get up at 6 am to go to work, work until 7pm, come home so my wife could leave to go to her work. Fix the dinner for the kids, get them in bed etc. Sleep a couple hours until the wife would get home around midnight, then I'd get up and go down to her work so I could fix all the 3d printers that were down. Then back home by 2-3 am, to sleep a couple more hours. Rinse, repeat, 7 days a week for months. My life isn't like that anymore, and every month things seem to ease just a bit. This is my year to get caught back up and hopefully regain some semblance of a life again.

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Stephen said:

Cody, you're one of the hardest working most dedicated guys I know and I envy your drive. You make the best beer in the state and honestly, there have been many long hard days in the past year for me that brighten up when I get to sit down for a minute and enjoy a cold BeWilder ESB. I hope things ease up for you a bit and know you can always reach out for help.

You're still an asshole, though.

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Greg said:

I'll admit, I've been struggling.... lost my Dad a week ago, my MIL in December and my Mom just over a year ago. We weren't over my MIL's passing when we got the news about my Dad. I think the hardest part is knowing that both my parents are gone, that's been rough. I've talked with my wife and we're working thru it all together.... but it still sucks.

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Medsker said:

Sorry to hear that Greg and the others sharing. I lost my Dad and older brother a week apart back in Jan 2020. I still have bad days but it did get easier for me over time. I don't think the pain goes away I think you just get better at dealing with it. It made me the man of the family really quick which I still don't think I've come close to mastering. I can't imagine saying goodbye to my mom either. Hopefully it doesn't happen for a while. Don't want to even think about it.

On some other bad news I'm going in to have a tumor removed on my right kidney on Wednesday. They are going to try to just get the tumor but may end up having to take the whole kidney. They are pretty sure it's cancerous but there still a very small chance it isn't. It's amazing the way my anxiety is climbing more and more as it gets closer. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal since I have two kidneys but my anxiety has let me know that deep down I think it is a big deal. I should be in the hospital a couple of days and then 4-6 weeks recovery.

Life goes on though. All we can do is take it by the horns and try not to let it gore us sometimes.

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Medsker said:

Sorry to hear that Greg and the others sharing. I lost my Dad and older brother a week apart back in Jan 2020. I still have bad days but it did get easier for me over time. I don't think the pain goes away I think you just get better at dealing with it. It made me the man of the family really quick which I still don't think I've come close to mastering. I can't imagine saying goodbye to my mom either. Hopefully it doesn't happen for a while. Don't want to even think about it.

On some other bad news I'm going in to have a tumor removed on my right kidney on Wednesday. They are going to try to just get the tumor but may end up having to take the whole kidney. They are pretty sure it's cancerous but there still a very small chance it isn't. It's amazing the way my anxiety is climbing more and more as it gets closer. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal since I have two kidneys but my anxiety has let me know that deep down I think it is a big deal. I should be in the hospital a couple of days and then 4-6 weeks recovery.

Life goes on though. All we can do is take it by the horns and try not to let it gore us sometimes.

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Greg said:

I'll admit, I've been struggling.... lost my Dad a week ago, my MIL in December and my Mom just over a year ago. We weren't over my MIL's passing when we got the news about my Dad. I think the hardest part is knowing that both my parents are gone, that's been rough. I've talked with my wife and we're working thru it all together.... but it still sucks.

We talked about a Winter RME trip to Green River/the Swell in Feb... it's been hard for me to have any time to plan a trip, but this may be just what I need. I'll start a thread.

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Kevin B. said:

We lost Mom over a decade ago, so those wounds are old at this point and I didn't get the double whammy. But I can confirm that it is totally weird to have both parents gone now...

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Medsker said:

Sorry to hear that Greg and the others sharing. I lost my Dad and older brother a week apart back in Jan 2020. I still have bad days but it did get easier for me over time. I don't think the pain goes away I think you just get better at dealing with it. It made me the man of the family really quick which I still don't think I've come close to mastering. I can't imagine saying goodbye to my mom either. Hopefully it doesn't happen for a while. Don't want to even think about it.

On some other bad news I'm going in to have a tumor removed on my right kidney on Wednesday. They are going to try to just get the tumor but may end up having to take the whole kidney. They are pretty sure it's cancerous but there still a very small chance it isn't. It's amazing the way my anxiety is climbing more and more as it gets closer. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal since I have two kidneys but my anxiety has let me know that deep down I think it is a big deal. I should be in the hospital a couple of days and then 4-6 weeks recovery.

Life goes on though. All we can do is take it by the horns and try not to let it gore us sometimes.

Click to expand...