Brett
Meat-Hippy
- Location
- Salt Lake City Utah
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker get captured by cannibals.
The Chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're
going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, then we'll eat you, and then
we'll use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you
die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman cries
"Vive la France!" and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief hands him a gun, the Englishman
points it at his head saying "God save the Queen!", and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but shrugs and gives him a fork.
The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over; the stomach, sides,
chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing all over the place, it's horrible.
The chief is appalled and asks, "God almighty, what are you doing?"
The New Yorker sneers and says, "So much for your canoe, you stupid idiot!"
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Don was so excited to be going bear hunting. He spotted a small Brown Bear in the woods and shot it. Then there was a tap on his shoulder, he turned around to see a big Black Bear. The Black Bear said, "Don, you've got two choices, either I maul you to death or we have sex." Don decided to bend over.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Don soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the Black Bear and shot it.
There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge Grizzly Bear was standing right next to him. The Grizzly said, "That was a huge mistake Don. Now you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex."
Again, Don thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it took several months before Don finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the Grizzly and shot it. He felt the sweet taste of revenge.
But then there was a tap on his shoulder. Don turned round to find a giant Polar Bear standing there. The Polar Bear said, "Admit it Don, you don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"
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I'll post more as I see fit......add yours!
The Chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're
going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, then we'll eat you, and then
we'll use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you
die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman cries
"Vive la France!" and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief hands him a gun, the Englishman
points it at his head saying "God save the Queen!", and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but shrugs and gives him a fork.
The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over; the stomach, sides,
chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing all over the place, it's horrible.
The chief is appalled and asks, "God almighty, what are you doing?"
The New Yorker sneers and says, "So much for your canoe, you stupid idiot!"
----------------
Don was so excited to be going bear hunting. He spotted a small Brown Bear in the woods and shot it. Then there was a tap on his shoulder, he turned around to see a big Black Bear. The Black Bear said, "Don, you've got two choices, either I maul you to death or we have sex." Don decided to bend over.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Don soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the Black Bear and shot it.
There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge Grizzly Bear was standing right next to him. The Grizzly said, "That was a huge mistake Don. Now you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex."
Again, Don thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it took several months before Don finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the Grizzly and shot it. He felt the sweet taste of revenge.
But then there was a tap on his shoulder. Don turned round to find a giant Polar Bear standing there. The Polar Bear said, "Admit it Don, you don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"
----------------
I'll post more as I see fit......add yours!
