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Barbie Dolls Inc. Announces The Release Today of
Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Utah Market:
Draper City Barbie: She's 29, and she's already had six kids. She has never worked a day in her life and really doesn't think she should have to. She comes with a brand new home on an acre and a half of land in the Draper
Foothills. Her Barbie Dream Home comes with furniture for all eight bedrooms, two mini vans, two horses and a trampoline. She also comes with a jar of expensive stretch mark cream and a consent form to have her tubes tied after the birth of child number seven. Bonus - this Barbie comes with a one-year membership to Costco which is where she has to shop to feed her brood. Never-at-home Ken is a Mormon Bishop and a high school administrator.
Cottonwood Barbie: This Barbie is usually found shopping in her Lulu-lemon yoga outfit with her snowboarding, shaggy-haired boyfriend Ken. On weekends, you can find this Barbie babe at the Porcupine Grill with a swarm of Barbie friends and a grande, double shot, skinny, sugar-free vanilla latte. You can purchase this Barbie's poorboy cap and torn Levi's for her laid-back days.
The Avenues Barbie: This 'Princess Barbie' is only sold at The Gateway. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog, and a two-million-dollar house. Options include tummy tuck, face-lift, Spa certificates, and a workaholic, cheating Dr. Ken.
West Valley Barbie: This recently-paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a slammed Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows. Methadone Clinic Ken is included Also available with orange overalls.
Tooele Barbie: This model wears Wrangler jeans two sizes too small and a NASCAR shirt. Accessories include a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet, and she can kick Ken's a$$ when she's drunk. A pickup is available with Country KSOP bumper stickers.
Trolley Square Barbie: Trolley Square Barbie comes with a Mini Cooper and a $200,000 bachelorette pad. She likes to lunch on a salad at Gastronomy Restaurants most days and carries her Chihuahua, named Pookie, in her handbag. This Barbie takes Pookie to her job downtown as an analyst. Also available: numerous Platinum credit cards and Shallow-Ken.
Ogden Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has not learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless without breaking a heel and falling while you chase your mullet-wearing boyfriend. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, with assorted g-strings that stick out the back, and a white barely-there, see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached and BIG. Accessories include: a 1996 Camaro Z-28 and a CD-player equipped with vintage Ozzy.
Federal Heights Barbie: This Barbie has recently been divorced. She comeswith Ken's car, Ken's house, and Ken's cabin in Park City.
Wendover Barbie: This Barbie is a bitter broad. She's in her late 30's but a lifetime of beer and cigarettes have left her looking ten years older. She's recently lost her gig at the Golden Fleece. It's pretty bad when the worst strip joint in Utah tells you 'sorry honey, you just sag too much now.' This Barbie comes with a 1988 Ford Taurus with broken air conditioning. She also comes with thirty-five assorted wigs in all styles and colors. She hopes to land a position dealing Blackjack at whatever casino passes for the Stateline this week. Additional accessories include a variety of costumes and rhinestone jewelry. This Barbie may also open
Wendover's first pole-dancing class to teach desperate women how to stripfor their man. Bonus - Truck stop layover Ken is included.
Magna Barbie: The Magna Barbie lives in a red brick tract home built in the1940's for a Kennecott Copper worker. She inherited it from her grandmother The house is falling to pieces around her ears. This Barbie comes with Handyman Ken and his 1977 camper converted into a work truck. Accessories include all Ken's tools, even a mini arc welding set and tiny little pipes to reconstruct Barbie's kitchen and bathroom. You can select from a Ken with or without 'plumber's crack.' Special feature, Magna Barbie also speaks Spanish and has a lifetime pit pass to the Bonneville aceway and a collection of Elvis mementos purchased from QVC.
St. George Barbie: The St. George Barbie is our oldest Utah Barbie. But don't let her fool you! Granny's still got a lot of gas left in her tank. Gramps is dead and Granny has sold the house and most of her stuff and has bought a condo in St. George. Now Granny's days are filled with brunches with the girls in the morning, then a nap, and then late afternoon tee-times. Oldster Barbie loves golf and her accessories include a golf cart and a set of pro-quality clubs. St. George Barbie only goes back up to
Salt Lake to see her children and grandchildren at Christmas and Mother's Day. The rest of the time Granny is a real swinger. St. George Barbie comes with smarmy Condo Association President Ken, and Pool Boy Ken as well. Also included is a hand embroidered throw pillow with the quote 'What Happens in
St. George, Stays in St. George
Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Utah Market:
Draper City Barbie: She's 29, and she's already had six kids. She has never worked a day in her life and really doesn't think she should have to. She comes with a brand new home on an acre and a half of land in the Draper
Foothills. Her Barbie Dream Home comes with furniture for all eight bedrooms, two mini vans, two horses and a trampoline. She also comes with a jar of expensive stretch mark cream and a consent form to have her tubes tied after the birth of child number seven. Bonus - this Barbie comes with a one-year membership to Costco which is where she has to shop to feed her brood. Never-at-home Ken is a Mormon Bishop and a high school administrator.
Cottonwood Barbie: This Barbie is usually found shopping in her Lulu-lemon yoga outfit with her snowboarding, shaggy-haired boyfriend Ken. On weekends, you can find this Barbie babe at the Porcupine Grill with a swarm of Barbie friends and a grande, double shot, skinny, sugar-free vanilla latte. You can purchase this Barbie's poorboy cap and torn Levi's for her laid-back days.
The Avenues Barbie: This 'Princess Barbie' is only sold at The Gateway. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog, and a two-million-dollar house. Options include tummy tuck, face-lift, Spa certificates, and a workaholic, cheating Dr. Ken.
West Valley Barbie: This recently-paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a slammed Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows. Methadone Clinic Ken is included Also available with orange overalls.
Tooele Barbie: This model wears Wrangler jeans two sizes too small and a NASCAR shirt. Accessories include a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet, and she can kick Ken's a$$ when she's drunk. A pickup is available with Country KSOP bumper stickers.
Trolley Square Barbie: Trolley Square Barbie comes with a Mini Cooper and a $200,000 bachelorette pad. She likes to lunch on a salad at Gastronomy Restaurants most days and carries her Chihuahua, named Pookie, in her handbag. This Barbie takes Pookie to her job downtown as an analyst. Also available: numerous Platinum credit cards and Shallow-Ken.
Ogden Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has not learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless without breaking a heel and falling while you chase your mullet-wearing boyfriend. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, with assorted g-strings that stick out the back, and a white barely-there, see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached and BIG. Accessories include: a 1996 Camaro Z-28 and a CD-player equipped with vintage Ozzy.
Federal Heights Barbie: This Barbie has recently been divorced. She comeswith Ken's car, Ken's house, and Ken's cabin in Park City.
Wendover Barbie: This Barbie is a bitter broad. She's in her late 30's but a lifetime of beer and cigarettes have left her looking ten years older. She's recently lost her gig at the Golden Fleece. It's pretty bad when the worst strip joint in Utah tells you 'sorry honey, you just sag too much now.' This Barbie comes with a 1988 Ford Taurus with broken air conditioning. She also comes with thirty-five assorted wigs in all styles and colors. She hopes to land a position dealing Blackjack at whatever casino passes for the Stateline this week. Additional accessories include a variety of costumes and rhinestone jewelry. This Barbie may also open
Wendover's first pole-dancing class to teach desperate women how to stripfor their man. Bonus - Truck stop layover Ken is included.
Magna Barbie: The Magna Barbie lives in a red brick tract home built in the1940's for a Kennecott Copper worker. She inherited it from her grandmother The house is falling to pieces around her ears. This Barbie comes with Handyman Ken and his 1977 camper converted into a work truck. Accessories include all Ken's tools, even a mini arc welding set and tiny little pipes to reconstruct Barbie's kitchen and bathroom. You can select from a Ken with or without 'plumber's crack.' Special feature, Magna Barbie also speaks Spanish and has a lifetime pit pass to the Bonneville aceway and a collection of Elvis mementos purchased from QVC.
St. George Barbie: The St. George Barbie is our oldest Utah Barbie. But don't let her fool you! Granny's still got a lot of gas left in her tank. Gramps is dead and Granny has sold the house and most of her stuff and has bought a condo in St. George. Now Granny's days are filled with brunches with the girls in the morning, then a nap, and then late afternoon tee-times. Oldster Barbie loves golf and her accessories include a golf cart and a set of pro-quality clubs. St. George Barbie only goes back up to
Salt Lake to see her children and grandchildren at Christmas and Mother's Day. The rest of the time Granny is a real swinger. St. George Barbie comes with smarmy Condo Association President Ken, and Pool Boy Ken as well. Also included is a hand embroidered throw pillow with the quote 'What Happens in
St. George, Stays in St. George
