Yes, people should just get over it. I think we need more of "hmm, that's different, but whatever" in this world, but everyone wants to make sure they make it known their distaste for something that's different because....that's important to...them? I've tried to leave that in high school. I think people in the LGBTQ community just want people to not give a shit what they do as long as it's not harming others. I will also agree that they have a pretty loud soap box and often times their push back is more obnoxious than what they are pushing back against.
I think that Dylan Mulvaney is probably thankful that everyone is so busy dealing with their own issues to care about a case of beer that was sent to her. I can only imagine how many people were too busy to talk shit about that situation in front of their families...a situation that she didn't even ask for.The irony of it is that the "hurtfulness" is nearly always self projected and self perceived. The reality is that people are just too busy dealing with their own issues to really give a shit about your man dress. I may pass judgement in the moment, but I'm not gonna ruin my life about it. I mean, I talk shit on riced out trucks. Do they need a safe space too?
I'd also point out that even small parts of language can be unintentionally (or possibly intentionally) hurtful. If you care so little about a biologically male person wearing a dress, why call it a "man dress"? Do you call your wife's shorts "man shorts" or "man jeans" because those are historically male articles of clothing? Just call it a dress, and say to yourself "hmm, that's different, but whatever" because it shouldn't make you feel better about yourself being hurtful to someone (I hope) and it doesn't hurt you to not be intentionally hurtful. This all just gets a big "who cares, you do you" from me, which is what I expect from other people and I think, in principle, a lot of the more conservative parts of the community can probably relate to.
I think the general sentiment that you should treat people with respect is the best one. Being in the center of the city, I come across a lot of people that are all sorts of things. They take all sorts of pro-nouns and dress in all sorts of ways. I mean, that sounds like it's everyone and it's not. It's a very small portion of the overall community, but that community is more common the closer you get to central SLC. I think as long as you're respectful to them and show that you just don't care, they don't care if you accidentally call them by something that isn't their preferred. There is a head brewer at a local brewery that was male when I first met them, and now they are very much female. I call everyone dude or homie, and when I call her that I kind of catch myself...but she doesn't care because it's not meant to be hurtful and you can usually tell how well meaning someone is so long as you're not totally socially disconnected. If I say "yo dudes, what are you brewing" that's ok. If I say "yo dudes, what are you brewing, btw sweet man-dress". That would be a hurtful thing to say.
All of that being said, there are some pretty militant and vocal members of that community that give the rest of that community a bad rap. They are obnoxious, and guess what, the majority of that community thinks they are obnoxious too. I think that's probably the case with every group of people though.
Does a slammed dually count as a "riced out truck"? Because I totally want one. Save me a space on that train to awesome-town!
