Lame Joke Thread

mombobuggy

Well-Known Member
Location
Highland
A family of Hillbillys goes to the mall for the first time. The old man agrees to sit with the children while his wife shops. Having never seen an elevator he watches as several homely obese women enter this device and seem to reappear beautiful and fit. at which time he tells his son go getcha momma boy.
 

Kevin B.

Not often wrong. Never quite right.
Moderator
Location
Vehicular limbo
A clever smuggler came to the border with a donkey. The donkey's back was heavily laden with straw. The official at the border was suspicious and pulled apart the man's bundles till there was straw all around, but not a valuable thing in the straw was found. "But I'm certain you're smuggling something," the official said, as the man crossed the border.

Now each day for ten years the man came to the border with a donkey. Although the official searched and searched the straw bundles on the donkey's back, he never could find anything valuable hidden in them.

Many years later, after the official had retired, he happened to meet that same smuggler in a marketplace and said, "Please tell me, I beg you. Tell me, what were you smuggling? Tell me, if you can."

"Donkeys," said the man.
 

clfrnacwby

Recovery Addict
Location
NV
Ron, an elderly man in Florida, owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back.

It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and
lime trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

Ron frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up Ron said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Some old men can still think fast.
 

STAG

On my grind
Location
Pleasant Grove
Jew gotta be kidding me, these Jewish jokes are degrading, Anne Frankly they need to stop. Hopefully we will Nazi anymore of them.

it-aint-right-i-say-11.jpg
 

Kevin B.

Not often wrong. Never quite right.
Moderator
Location
Vehicular limbo
What's the difference between an elephant and a grape?

A grape is purple.

What did Tarzan say when he saw a bunch of elephants coming over the hill?

Look, there's a bunch of elephants!

What did Jane say when she saw a bunch of elephants coming over the hill?

Look, there's a bunch of grapes!

(What, you didn't know Jane was colorblind?)
 
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