Lame Joke Thread

[glockman]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin all day.

 

[zmotorsports]

Two antennas meet in a bar. They date and get married. The reception was great.

Sorry, that was a bad one but I hear stupid jokes every day, just had to share that one.

Mike.

 

[Revitup-n-go]

What do you call a man without arms and legs in the bushes?

Berry.

 

[Revitup-n-go]

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

You nique up on it!

 

[Revitup-n-go]

World's Shortest Books


THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
by Barack Obama
____________________________________________

MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS
by Tiger Woods
____________________________________________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan
Illustrated by Michael Moore
Forward by George Soros
________________________________________

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS
& HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA

by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
______________________________________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL

by Hillary Clinton
_________________

Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY

by Bill Clinton
_________________

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD

by Bill Gates
____________________________________

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY

by Dennis Rodman
_________________________________
THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE

by Al Gore & John Kerry
_____________________________________
GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
by Amelia Earhart
____________________________________

HOW TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST

by Dr. Jack Kevorkian
__________________________________
TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED BEFORE

by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnell
__________________
GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE

by Mike Tyson
__________________________________

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
_______________________________________

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS

by O. J. Simpson
_________________________________________

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY

by Ted Kennedy
_________

MY BOOK OF MORALS

by Bill Clinton

with introduction by
the Rev. Jesse Jackson

*******************************************************
AND, JUST ADDED:
My Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy
by Nancy Pelosi

 

[zmotorsports]

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

You nique up on it!

How to you catch a tame rabbit?

The "tame" way.

Mike.

 

[mesha]

Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it
and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"Computer really messed up now.”

 

[Kevin B.]

^ hahahaha

 

[Pile of parts]

Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend...

 

[UNSTUCK]

These jokes are really going down the drain.

 

[anderson750]

Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend...

I must have a sick sense of humor.......that is one of the funniest things I have seen in awhile.

 

[Kevin B.]

These jokes are really going down the drain.

The entire thread's gone to pot, that's for sure.

 

[rholbrook]

I must have a sick sense of humor.......that is one of the funniest things I have seen in awhile.

Im still laughing about it. Cant wait to tell my wife

 

[anderson750]

Im still laughing about it. Cant wait to tell my wife

I tried telling it to mine but could not do it without busting a gut. She was not as amused as I was.

 

[I Lean]

 

[rholbrook]

One of my favorite jokes is one told by Eddie Murphy in , "Raw".

There was a bear and a rabbit taking a poop in the woods, the bear leaned over to the rabbit and said, "Mr Rabbit, do you have problems with poop sticking to your fur?" The rabbit said, "No I don't." So then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.


My wife and daughter do not see the humor in that joke. Me and my boys think it is the funniest joke ever. I guess men are more visual than women

 

[Pile of parts]

One of my favorite jokes is one told by Eddie Murphy in , "Raw".

There was a bear and a rabbit taking a poop in the woods, the bear leaned over to the rabbit and said, "Mr Rabbit, do you have problems with poop sticking to your fur?" The rabbit said, "No I don't." So then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.


My wife and daughter do not see the humor in that joke. Me and my boys think it is the funniest joke ever. I guess men are more visual than women

Always was one of my favorites too. (obviously)

 

[Kevin B.]

This would be funnier if it turned into two different colors when you looked at it.

 

[mesha]

Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend...

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?


He wiped.

 

[ID Bronco]

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?


He wiped.

Yuck!