Lame Joke Thread

sixstringsteve

Well-Known Member
Location
UT
A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

When making whipped cream churn it a little longer, it's butter that way.
 

sixstringsteve

Well-Known Member
Location
UT
A chicken farmer's favorite car is a coupe.

I've been to the dentist many times so I know the drill.

When a woman returns new clothing, that's post-traumatic dress syndrome.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant!

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Juvenile Court Tried Shooting Defendant

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

Big Rig Carrying Fruit Crashes on 210 Freeway - Creates Jam
 

bryson

RME Resident Ninja
Supporting Member
Location
West Jordan
What do forklifts and girls have in common?
.
.
If you don't have one, you'll have to unload by hand.
 

ID Bronco

Registered User
Location
Idaho Falls, ID
  1. I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts
 

ID Bronco

Registered User
Location
Idaho Falls, ID
  1. People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.
 

Pile of parts

Well-Known Member
Location
South Jordan
A man in Malmo, Minnesota woke up one morning to find a bear on his roof.

He looked in the Yellow Pages, and sure enough, there was an ad for
" Up North Bear Removers."

He called the number listed and the bear remover said he'd be over within an hour.

The bear remover arrived, and got out of his van. He had a ladder, a baseball bat,
a 12 gauge shotgun, and a mean looking, heavily scarred old pit bull.

" What are you going to do ??? " .......... the homeowner asked..........

" I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof,..... then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat .......and when the bear falls off the roof, .............the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles, and not let go.

............ The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

He then handed the shotgun to the homeowner ...............

" What's the shotgun for ???" ...........the homeowner asked ............

" If the bear knocks me off the roof first, .............. shoot that damn dog !!!!
 
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