Lame Joke Thread
- Thread starter mesha
- Start date
JL Rockies
Binders Fulla Expo
- Location
- Draper
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a felt tip marker?
You don’t get second looks when you’re writing with a felt tip marker.
You don’t get second looks when you’re writing with a felt tip marker.
A man was showing some buddies his new bachelor pad apartment. They walked in and saw a 6 ft. diameter gong (not a typo) hanging on the wall and asked, "what the heck is that and why do you have it in your apartment?"
"It's a talking clock. I use it to tell time sometimes."
"How does it work? I don't see any clock hands....?"
"Here, I'll show you."
The guy grabs a large sledge hammer sitting next to the gong and swings. "GOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNG."
His two friends grab their ears and look at their buddy like he's an idiot, and he just motions for them to shutup and listen. Sure enough, a few seconds after the gong quiets down, they hear from behind the gong a voice......"YOU JACKASS, IT'S 2:30 IN THE FREAKING MORNING!!"
"It's a talking clock. I use it to tell time sometimes."
"How does it work? I don't see any clock hands....?"
"Here, I'll show you."
The guy grabs a large sledge hammer sitting next to the gong and swings. "GOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNG."
His two friends grab their ears and look at their buddy like he's an idiot, and he just motions for them to shutup and listen. Sure enough, a few seconds after the gong quiets down, they hear from behind the gong a voice......"YOU JACKASS, IT'S 2:30 IN THE FREAKING MORNING!!"
sixstringsteve
Well-Known Member
- Location
- UT
these baby jokes are new to me. First time I'd heard of 'em. Ya'll are some sick people. 
Zombie
Random Dead Guy
- Location
- Sandy Utah
What kind of bird brings babies?
A stork.
What kind of bird doesn't bring babies?
a swallow.
A stork.
What kind of bird doesn't bring babies?
a swallow.
jallen9
Active Member
- Location
- Midland, TX
What did one lawyer say to the second lawyer?
"We are both lawyers."
"We are both lawyers."
STAG
On my grind
- Location
- Pleasant Grove
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An in-vest-agator
An in-vest-agator
- Location
- Draper, UT
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi
Pumpkin Pi
- Location
- Draper, UT
I loved Steven Wrights stuff:
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
What's another name for Thesaurus?
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
What's another name for Thesaurus?
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
- Location
- Draper, UT
I got boo'd out of the kitchen one day.
I came home and my wife had made a batch of scones. I stood them all up on the plate in a circle.
She asked what I was doing and I replied
Scone Henge
I came home and my wife had made a batch of scones. I stood them all up on the plate in a circle.
She asked what I was doing and I replied
Scone Henge
rholbrook
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Kaysville, Ut
Told that one to my daughter who is studying Bio-medical Eng. she has had plenty of Chemistry and thought it was really funny. The sad part is she knew what H2O2 is
sixstringsteve
Well-Known Member
- Location
- UT
I was going to make a joke about sodium... but na.
sixstringsteve
Well-Known Member
- Location
- UT