Lame Joke Thread

[BlueWolfFab]

What do you call a gay guy in a wheelchair?

 

[Kevin B.]

^ new fruit flavor?

I'll see myself out.

 

[Noahfecks]

why don't monsters eat clowns?

they taste funny

 

[Pile of parts]

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender is so surprised and says, "You're the first weasel to ever come in here. You can have any drink you'd like. What can I get you?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.

 

[pELYgroso]

Why can't the T-Rex reach the top shelf?




Because he's dead.

 

[Seth]

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy that can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen doughnuts.

 

[Kevin B.]

Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gift.

 

[BlueWolfFab]

 

[rholbrook]

Thats funny

 

[Noahfecks]

You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or after a while.

 

[Noahfecks]

If I'm ever on life support, unplug me and then plug me back in. See if that works.

 

[Kevin B.]

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive west.

 

[I Lean]

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive west.

That took me waaaaay to long to figure out. (had to say it out loud to finally understand)

 

[Greg]

That took me waaaaay to long to figure out. (had to say it out loud to finally understand)

I was at the bar the other night with my buddy having some beers. We had been there a while when two large girls came up to the bar and ordered some drinks. I noticed when they ordered they both had strong accents so I said ‘Hi, are you two girls from Scotland?’ One of them spoke up, with quite an attitude and said ‘it’s WALES you idiot!!!’

So I immediately said ‘Sorry, are you two Whales from Scotland?’

 

[jeeper]

I was also at a bar with a buddy recently. A large girl started dancing on the table. I looked over and said to her ‘nice legs!’
She replied, ‘thanks, you really think so?’
I said, ‘well, yeah. Any other table would have broke by now’.

 

[Noahfecks]

how do you catch a unique alligator? unique up on it

how do you catch a tame alligator? the tame way, unique up on it

yeah, that was pretty bad

 

[UNSTUCK]

From my 6 year old...pretty sure he made it up.

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Barbie

Barbie who?

Barbie Q.

All I could do was pat him on the back and say good one, son.

 

[zmotorsports]

My cousin is always texting me lame jokes so this thread is appropriate. I'm almost embarrassed to repeat them, almost.....

A weasel walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "wow, in all my years I have never seen a weasel stop in, what can I get ya?" POP, goes the weasel.


Mike

 

[Pile of parts]

My cousin is always texting me lame jokes so this thread is appropriate. I'm almost embarrassed to repeat them, almost.....

A weasel walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "wow, in all my years I have never seen a weasel stop in, what can I get ya?" POP, goes the weasel.


Mike

Your cousin and I must listen to the same radio station.

 

[jeeper]

I bought a Jell-O mold in the shape of a handgun.The first time I used it the Jell-O came out and it looked perfect. Immediately the cops busted down my door and arrested me. I was charged with possession of a congealed weapon.